When Natasha from the next neighborhood is breaking records at the English Olympiad and Rashi from Block E is excelling in the field of music, we cannot resist comparing our children with them. Of course, Natasha and Rashi would also be listening to stories of even worthier competitors from their parents. Many times, pleasing parents becomes impossible. Have you ever realized comparing your child to other kids could lead to several negative consequences on your child’s wellbeing?
So, here’s why you should never compare kids-
Comparing your child to another kid eats away their self-esteem and confidence. If you wish to improve your overall parenting skills, you should refrain yourself from doing this. Radhika snagged an 80 % but her Mumma could not stop inquiring what made her miss 95%. By doing these things you make your children think that they are not good enough. The self-doubt of not achieving what another kid can do leads to low self-confidence.
Some parents fear that their kids might get left behind and some parents want to achieve their unfulfilled aims through their kids. They start comparing kids irrespective of the reason. When you do this repeatedly, your kid gets irritated and may start hating you. Parents, please focus on what your kids are learning rather than comparing results.
Not everyone is created equal. In order to see parents contented, the child is constantly under pressure to perform better than yesterday, which will leave them exhausted and knackered. As it is said, “you can not judge a fish by how fast it can run, but by how fast it can swim.” Everyone has his own pace of doing things. Give kids time and tell them they can do better. If possible, figure out ways of making them work harder without lowering down their confidence.
Kids who are always under pressure to perform better will always be nervous and cranky in whatever they do. So, if a child participates in a competition, don’t just linger on what she/he has achieved. Acknowledge and praise your child so that he/she feels motivated.
When you do comparisons, your kid may develop feelings of jealousy and hatred towards other children, who are actually not at fault. All these things affect your child’s overall personality.
Comparing only affects the mental health of your child and you, as it instigates competition just for the heck of it. Always encourage your child and praise his/her achievements. You can tell your child to aim higher in such a way as to say that he/she is more capable of doing better than saying that he/she should do better than XYZ.
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