A Rented Womb for my Child…

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In the 31st week of pregnancy my tiny baby was beating and rolling his arms in the womb. On the sonogram screen I could see his/her face and body movements wide and clear. Just watching the baby’s lively movements on the screen swamped me  with so many emotions-emotions that cannot even be expressed in words, that  tears came into my eyes. His/her heart beat sounded like a wind charm’s melodious tinkling in my ears.

The doctor wiped off the gel from the lady’s stomach, in which my child was growing, with one hand and with another hand she gave the pictures of the sonogram scan to me.

Due to fibroids, I was not able to enjoy the benefits of motherhood. My husband and me consulted numerous experts but all are efforts went in  vain.

Therefore, my husband and I decided to go for gestational surrogacy. In this process, an embryo formed by the eggs of the parents is implanted into the womb of a surrogate mother.

Most parents scold their children for small things like spoiling the house, but such blessed couples hardly realize that there are some people in the world who truly find happiness in a child’s mischief and long to be parents. They pray to God to bless them with a child by any means every single day.

Seeing the way I took care of their children, my sisters always used to tell me that I would become an excellent mother one day.  Remembering this, I couldn’t stop tears from rolling down my cheeks. I had always wanted to be a mother, in fact, I looked forward to becoming a mother but my untreatable infertility prevented me from fulfilling this dream of mine. 

Nisha was the name of the blessing,  through which I got to hear the squeals of my own child. Nisha’s financial condition was not good, so she stayed with us at our home. For the whole nine months, we took care of her every need and every happiness. So much so that when husband Rohan,  took care of her, I used to feel very bad. “Do not eat this”, “take this”, “I have brought coconut water for you”, “sit in the car front seat comfortably”, – Rohan was doing all of this for our child, but I used to get irritated many times. It seems that if I had the good fortune to become a mother, then Rohan would have said all this to me and would have prioritized my needs as well!

Nisha was also becoming weird. In the beginning, she would address me as ‘didi’ or ‘bhabhi’ but with time, the comfortable and luxurious life began to spoil her. She, who was not even used to getting a proper meal once a day, would now throw tantrums when food was served and would say, “I do not eat this daal”! Or “I cannot sleep without AC,”   and Rohan kept trying to fulfill her every desire and want. The truth is that a woman who is about to become a mother should not have any desire unfulfilled because her desire is linked to the desire of her child. But with the due date getting closer, Rohan’s growing concern for Nisha started to make me jealous. Maybe I was thinking too much.

Everything went well. A tiny, happy baby made me the luckiest person in the world and helped me fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a mother. 

I thanked God and Nisha and thought that all the troubles she was giving me during the past so many days would also end. Nisha would go back.

Then Rohan came and said to me – Rashi, I was wondering why not let Nisha stay here as the child’s nanny. This will give her the company of her baby and we will also get help. I replied to this in one word-NO.

Rohan did not say anything. I do not know if what I did was right or wrong but, I did what I felt was right in my heart. Did I do the right thing?

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