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Why are Children from the Same Parents Different from Each Other?

Kavita Uprety | June 7, 2018

Last week I visited my friend Anjana and met her sister who had come from Mumbai on summer vacations with her two kids. I was really surprised that they never looked like real siblings neither in nature nor in habits. The parents must have sensed my curiosity and laughingly told me not to wonder about it. Their father who is a doctor then explained to me the key reasons for differences in kids that are born from the same parents.

1) Chromosomes Play a Key Role

The journey of making a baby that starts from an embryo to a newborn is quite miraculous and is governed and carried forward by a set of chromosomes or DNA – a more common term. In simple terms, Chromosomes are the ingredients that contain information defining how a baby is going to be after being born. DNA is responsible for defining the genetic traits regarding the development of human beings. The mother and father have their set of chromosomes as well as genes and the one who is more dominant generally defines the child’s personality.


2) The Environment in which we Grow

Genes aside, the other most influential factor in making a child’s personality is the environment he/she is raised in. For example, if one child of the same parent is raised in a village and another in a city, then there will be a clear difference in their personalities and habits.


3) Upbringing and Preferences given by Parents

Siblings have some common genes, but their temperament and character may not be the same for a simple reason which is upbringing. Parents play a key role in this and this mainly includes the individual and sometimes preferential treatment given to their children. For example, it is common to see the firstborn being treated as special and the youngest one is the most pampered. In most families, the eldest is considered to be the most responsible and mature and the younger one is asked to listen to him/her. If parents, even unintentionally create differences, the children may pick up and hang on to these different perceptions and this plays a significant role in the development of their personalities.


4) Comparison based on Academic Performance and Gender

If parents believe that one child is better than the other, it often leads to them paying more attention to that child and his/her academic performance improves while the other one gets ignored.  This may result in inferiority or superiority traits in siblings and this could potentially affect their personalities. Parents should not make unfair comparisons between children and always remain conscious of how they discuss their children with others, especially when children are present.


Anjana’s sister being strongly inclined towards spirituality, put across another aspect:

5) Individual Soul and their Karmic Accounts

The karmic structure of every soul is different and our personalities are influenced by who we were in our previous lives. Our subconscious mind carries many impressions including the imprints of our past lives, deep-rooted interests, and emotions. For example, if a toddler shows too much aggression, then, maybe it is picked up from his past life. Ref. (

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Kavita Uprety




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